Nothing much at all.

I feel so transparent at somewhere so familiar.
The expectations from me were high.
Or they were once there and now, they are no longer there?
Am I known to them?
Am I still exist to them?
What more can I do?
I'm already at my limitations.
I feel like I'm fighting a war at the losing end.
Can I just let go and slip into darkness?
Can I just dug a hole and sink myself in?
Can I just ran away and hide away forever?

How many children do you have?
2.
Oh no, 3.
Maybe I'm such an accident.
Why am I fucking bother about Family when they don't fucking bother about me unless they want something from me.
They needed my service, they see me.
If not, only their precious son is in their eyes.

I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
I felt anger. Sorrow. Disappointment. Jealousy. Helpless but not love.
This is my only channel to vent out my frustrations.
When will they know what have I been through?
Oh right, they won't be bothered.

What the fuck is wrong with everything.
I tried my best to look at things in a different light.
How much longer can I conceal.
Maybe this is the best way to learn independent and self reliance.

He and they won.
I pronounced them the winners.
And I am just a dummy.
A backup tool, that is useful once awhile.

I just want to let go.
Slip into darkness.
And there won't be any emotions and troubles for me to bear anymore.