those were the days

When can this come to an end?
When can he understand?
When can things work out?
It has been 3 weeks i have last spoken a word to him.
It still aches when I thought of that night.
Thoughts came rushing through my head.
Memories of me when I was young till now.
His good, his bad.
Experiences so much under his love.
A different kind of love expression he use i guess.
I do love him, but how can things turn better?
He is stubborn, maybe this is where i inherit this trait in me.

How can we display love in a peaceful and less hurtful way?
I miss the times when you...
hold my hands while we shopped at thomson plaza.
tickle me when I slept in van when I do delivery with you.
bought me that andersen strawberry ice cream cone from marina square, telling how delicious it was when didn't even try it at all.
waited every night after my tuition during O'levels just to fetch me home every night.
and mum kiss me on my cheeks on christmas.
allow me to go HK trip with school to enhance my course knowledge.
allow me to work when you actually dislike us to.
hugged me when I had a major break up.
fork out your time just to bring me to pray.

But all these memories seem so far away.
So far away.
I can hardly grasp them.
Do they really belong to me?
dad, I miss the soft side of you.
I hate the cold and uncaring of you.
I am afraid of that side of you.
I am..afraid.