friendship

It has been so long since I last blogged.
I am back from states for more than 2 months already.
It is good to be back home with family and friends and definitely my favourite foodies.
However, the experience I had, the memories I owned will stays vividly with me.

The people I met, the friends I made are so interesting and real.
Not that those who are around me are not, but the friendship is so different.
We all are people coming from all over the world, we all have different cultures, different accents, different colours and thinking.
Yet, everyone are so ready to accept you and make you their friends.
No prejudice.
Everyone is so sincere, the fun I had was incredible light and joyful.
I am lucky that I met these people who are constantly dear to my heart. :)

We have been friends.
Or are we not?
There is nothing wrong with the friendship?
It is always give and take.
Just give, and take?
It is always many of you and little of me.
It has been so long, you have been constantly telling me how much you appreciate me as a friend.
You said you want to do so much for me.
The supposed sending off of flight, the supposed picking up flight, the supposed cookies, the supposed gifts for my attachment, the supposed birthday present, and supposed gifts from your oversea trips.

Many times, you told me the reason for the impossible mission for accomplish them.
I do understand.
I really do.
Till now, it doesn't matter anymore.
Because, I do have eyes.
I can see.
I do have ears.
I can hear.
Your current friends are more important.
You are constantly doing things to cheer them up, to make them happy.
Maybe there are friends that you are more willing to keep.
All my supposed, you have done it for them.
Oh ya, it was impossible for me, not them.
If that is it, thank you. And goodbye.

3 more days to go

I haven't been blogging frequently.
It has been a busy week with all those planning for this and that.

I cooked lunch for Jasmine yesterday and she said it was delicious. =D Hahas..
For the matter of fact that I don't always cooking in Singapore, the dishes that I cooked are pretty decent actually. At least, they are edible and not charred.
Mummy! I have your genes for cooking! Hahas.. Not as wonderful as a cook that she is because I am clumsy that I had myself burnt while cooking.

It is 8 of June 2009.
In 3 more days, I will be turning 20 and itting the big "2".
This birthday is so different from the ones I had from the previous years.
It is something more tone down and less friends to celebrate. Hahas.. I used to celebrate my birthday for a few days going out, shopping, eating, movie-ing and many other activities.
Yet, over here I don't know how I want my birthday to be celebrated.
Something simple sound good.

My favourite birthday activity: sprung onto my dad and mum's room once the clock strike 12am.
Mummy and Daddy!
Where is my Han's fruit cake for birthday?
Where is my birthday kisses? *I INSIST*
Jie and Kor, what are you guys giving me for birthday?
Where are we eating for dinner? Bai Mee Fen again? =) Can I have Da Tou?
I miss my family. So weird celebrating my birthday away from them.

Will people still remember it is my birthday when I am in states? I hope they will. =)

THANKS SARAH, JASMINE AND YEN FOR THE BIRTHDAY CARD!
IT IS SO SWEET OF YOU GIRLS!
LOVESSS!!

tiring

Sunday was a bad day for me.
I was supposed to report at 8.45am but I reached there at 8am so that i can buy my lunch from the cafeteria.
And it only opens at 10am, someone told me it opened at 8am. =.=
I was too early to do anything.

Later in the day, I was working at the unload. There was a metal piece protuding at the side and it torn my shoes and socks.

Am I doing the right thing at work?
I am doing my best to obtain the maximum satisfaction of every guest at work however many just simply don't appreciate it at all.
Maybe the technical best is not what the guests presume as the best for them.
However, when some guests have special requests or insist that things to do it their way, I usually let them.

"But they will come back to me and as me why isn't my face in the picture?"
"Because there is only 2 face for each seat."

"Oh, don't you find this information very familiar? I bet the people at load repeat it so many times."
Or, "Why I can't sit with my friends and family?"
"Oh, beacuse they just mention 2 in their party and I guess he fogotten to invite you?"
"Oh, because they don't find a point to wait for you?"

Sometimes I wish I can say all these to them. But it will make me not professional anymore.
It makes me feel that I should shortchange my services to them as not many guests really appreciate the cast members' effort.

Things are getting blur.
Once again.

the end.

I was watching Gossip Girl today.
Season 2 is officially ended.
I don't know why, but I teared while watching the last 2 episods.

Somehow as I watched it, my liking for the characters changed.
I like Blaire and Bass more than Nate and Serene.
Though this is just a good script writing, it feels good to see people with strong ego and hard front are finally getting their inner feelings out to the right people.

Love.
It is complicating.
Especially with characters like Bass and Blaire.
Their similar yet different personalities.
They go through a lot to get to the end.
Just sweet.

"xoxo. you know you love me"

Happy Mother's Day!

I called home today.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I can sense the happiness in her voice when I called daddy's hp just now. =)
I asked them what they did for Mother's day and it was the usual dinner.
She saw an empty seat at the table and she thought of me. =(
I miss the good food again.

I'm glad that everyone is alright at home, I'm alright here in states too.
Thanks daddy for your "gift". =D
MUMMY & DADDY, I LOVE YOU!

Khaki, please.
Places to visit and things to be done are accumulating and do remember them and we will go when I'm back!

I know the truth.
When all the while I know my sixth sense was right even though truth was not revealed.
There was occasions when I thought the lies were true.
However, the truth arrived when I have given up knowing it.
It takes awhile to digest it and let it settled in.
Decision on what actions to be taken and how to carried out.

All these while, I don't know why.
Why you have to lie to me.
Whether are we together or not.
Seriously, words from you, I don't know what is what anymore.
But, it doesn't matter already.

Tired.

Reached home about 7.20am on Sunday morning.
I'm so tired. =X
I slept till 3pm and went over to have dinner with brother, sister-in law and sister.
Played majiong till 1.30am and chatted on the phone till 5.30am.

Chatting with you made me realised many things.
And really, I was surprised about what has happened.
I thought he might change.
It was dumb of me thinking that way.
Thought I was really lousy.
Seriously, he is more into himself than anyone else.
He rather hurt others than having himself tarnish.
Believing and trusting him in the first place was a mistake.
For that bitch. I don't understand the thrill out of it.
I don't regret.
Because from this, I learnt.
Never be a fool again. Not again.
Thanks for waking me up again.

Woke up early on Monday at 10.30am, to be daddy's little girl and help out with the delivery.
It was raining today and I was like drenched so many times getting in and out of the van. =(
After I reached home I was out meeting Jia to help him with his selection of school for his studies.
We met at Great World City, dinned at Kenny Rogers.
We proceed to ERC Institute and listened to what the counsellor adviced.
Their progress like getting a Master(when you already acquire a diploma of the similar course) in 2 years sound tempting to pick up but I still have some doubts about the schools. =X
After that, we cabbed home as I am really really tired from deprivation of sleep.
Thanks for the dinner and ride. =)

Marley & Me

I went to US embassy today and collected the visa.

Finally, all the documents are ready.

Met up with HC Yen Ru and Jasmine today to collect the visa but Jasmine was late so we went over to the embassy without her.

Met HB Sarah over at the embassy and went lunch together because I am hungry!
I'm like surviving on 1 single meal everyday. =(
Don't know why I just don't have the appetite.

Her company was great. =)
We watch Marley & Me today.

I was wondering why was this movie being recommended by many of my friends.
I know why now.
It is seriously damn touching.
I cried and smudged my mascara. Unglam. =X

The show reminds of Cat Cat, my british short haired cat that I had for eight years.
The memories we shared.
Like he loves cheesecake.
He will be there when I'm sad.
He will wait for my family to come home when we go out for dinner at the gate.
How lovable he is.
But he died. Chased by dogs and punctured his stomach.

In the movie, it says, who can makes you feel different, special and unique?
Marley is simple, he gave his love to his owner because they love him too.
If many things were just so simple. =)

He just not that into you

I chatted with an interesting one yesterday.

Today, I went to US embassy at 8AM to process my visa.
It is approved and I have to go back and get it on Tuesday.
Went town with Shu Hui to have lunch and she has to get her stuff.
I realised I have to do something.
So i did it.

I need something to affirm my thoughts.
I went to watch movie with M today.
Thanks for being so spontaneous with me. =)
We watched " He is not that into you".

That show is great I must say.
It was pretty close to heart.
Seeing how people thought things could work out but they didn't.
And those they thought they didn't but they actually did.

It is really sweet to know that guy like Jen's bf is such a sweet guy.
The guy seriously, love her that much that he only loves her.
He willingly wants to make her happy, so that he can be happy.
That is damn sweet.

Next, is Justin Long.
I never find him attractive.
But today, I did.
He is those guy that you thought he was a player.
But he was just afraid to try and a bold girl, who keeps trying to find love made him realised he deserve to be in love too. =)

Both couples are sweeet!

But the married couple story sound familiar.
They were dating and married after 7 years.
Sound as if they were happily in love.And the girl has very strong six sense, I will say.
She realised the difference, yet believe when the guy says it was nothing wrong.
She found something fishy, confronted the guy yet he insisted he isn't lying.
She believe again.
Tried to work out their relationship when she realised it was rocky.
She tried.

But in the end, she realised that everything was just a lie.
He lied. Lied to her.
She is a strong lady.
She found out.
She confronted.
Ask the man whether he wants to work out or leave.
He said he is willing to work it out (just surprised and guilty I guess).
She tried to work out the relationship.
So what did the man did?
Oh. He lied to her, went behind her back and smokes, lust after a young gir that he thought he was in love and at the same time tell his wife he is willing to work out, had sexual relationship with both ladies?
But he did nothing to improve the relationship.
No determination at all.
Even though he was given a second chance that the wife forgiven him the 1st affair encounter.

He is not that into you. Whether you two are together or not, he will still leave.

I salute her for her courage.
She did her best.
Just that he is such a jerk.
And what the movie says is true, her life continues, and the right one is yet to come. =)

You fault? It takes 2 hands to clap.

Disney Attachment.

Wow. It has been awhile since I blogged.
So busy.
Every week, there are projects meeting, icas, tutorials to do, lectures to attend.
I'm so exhausted.
Everyday I go to school, the only thing in my mind is to go home quick and sleep. =X

2 ica next week. Again.
Written for human resource management and lab opera operation ica for hotel operations this time. =(
I haven't did any revision at all!
Help!!

I'm going for my Disney attachment.
6months in United States, Orlando.
I'm leaving on 28th March 09 and coming back at 2nd October 09.
Anyone celebrating farewell for me?
Or early birthday celebration?
My birthday is stuck half way through my attachment. =(

I'm starting to worry a little.
Never been away from home for so long.
I'm a spoilt little girl that have to learn to be independent.

misunderstanding, i guess.

It hurts to care.
Maybe gemini are like these.
Those who hate you, are your friends and those who love you are your enemies.
I don't know what I can do.
I am exhuasted with my limitations.
My time, my rest, my school work, my money.
Seeing the way you are, it hurts us.
It hurts me more because I go through it before.
TRUTH HURTS.
You want to get over it?
You must have an open mind.
You are thinking for him, who is thinking for you my dear?
You must be receptive and not cope with the sorrow yourself.
Maybe you are still not ready to give up on it.
Maybe you are not ready to get over.
When you want to get over.
Seriously want to, den let us know.
You must be ready to accept all those cruel facts or hide those sweetness somewhere for a new lease of life.

I'm your friend.
I won't abandon you.
Just don't want to be seen as a bad person from your perspective.
It's harsh.
But thats the fastest and hardest way to recover.
I'll be there when you need me ba.
Anw. I care and love you.
Jia you ba.

I have to do my tutorials, my speech.
I haven't do a single thing.

Love.
Today, in business law lecture, it says that no consideration is establish unless there is an exchange of something of value therefore there is no legal binding made.
And, love, is not consider.
Is it worthless? Without a penny?
Hahas.

It is something mysterious.
It comes in many forms.
There is so many experiences one may go through.
Creating each a story of your own that no one else can own other then you two.

Hmmm.
It makes me wonder.
It makes me ponder.
Things can be smooth sailing or be such a storm.
Not getting involve, give you peace.
But if you did, you may be in bliss.

Many many things goes through my head.
Memories so many years ago.
So long ago.
Yet, it feels so real.
But, yes.
It's so long ago.

Tranquil.
It's all I want.
Focus.
It's all I need.

whatever will be, will be.

Many things happened recently.
Problems, concerns, worry.
Never ending.

I did many things.
Some were out of control.
Things that I won't do usually.
I pressured myself too much.
I let myself go a little too much.

I think I should just let things go.
Do things the way I want it.
Be it work or what.
I bother too much I guess.
I should learn to loosen up more.
Less serious, less tense.
Many things will happen, be it good or bad.
Either you have a share of it.
Envy of others, you won't get it too.
Show off about it, it won't last.
So, whatever will be, will be.

Look at the brighter side of life, why worry so much when the rest ain't bother?
I'm looking for the cheerful and the hyper me that I'm once am.

Mentally & physically drained.
Night people.

those were the days

When can this come to an end?
When can he understand?
When can things work out?
It has been 3 weeks i have last spoken a word to him.
It still aches when I thought of that night.
Thoughts came rushing through my head.
Memories of me when I was young till now.
His good, his bad.
Experiences so much under his love.
A different kind of love expression he use i guess.
I do love him, but how can things turn better?
He is stubborn, maybe this is where i inherit this trait in me.

How can we display love in a peaceful and less hurtful way?
I miss the times when you...
hold my hands while we shopped at thomson plaza.
tickle me when I slept in van when I do delivery with you.
bought me that andersen strawberry ice cream cone from marina square, telling how delicious it was when didn't even try it at all.
waited every night after my tuition during O'levels just to fetch me home every night.
and mum kiss me on my cheeks on christmas.
allow me to go HK trip with school to enhance my course knowledge.
allow me to work when you actually dislike us to.
hugged me when I had a major break up.
fork out your time just to bring me to pray.

But all these memories seem so far away.
So far away.
I can hardly grasp them.
Do they really belong to me?
dad, I miss the soft side of you.
I hate the cold and uncaring of you.
I am afraid of that side of you.
I am..afraid.

Wishlist to go.

Finally.
It is over.
MY EXAM IS OVER!
HOLIDAY IS HERE TO STAY!! =D

All 4 papers seemed fine. I'm just a little worry for my FMA paper.
Hope at least I have a minimal grade of C+. =X
For all papers, I really did my very best to do well for my exams.
May the best luck and wishes be with me.. =)

Most probably I'll be working very often during this holiday.
ANYONE WILL BE MY WORKING KHAKI?!
I have a wishlist of things I want for this holiday:
- Pay off my driving lessons.
- My driving license ( I want it badly)
- Get through the Disney's interview.
- Pay off to MJ's bank (for the clique graduation trip to Taiwan)
- Hair cut + highlight ( any suggestion for colours?)
- Digital camera ( so that I can take good pictures if I manage to go Disney Orlando for attachment)
- Half of a new wardrobe ( not greedy to change everything =X)
>>New tops, shorts, skirts, DRESSES, shirts and many many more.
- 2 designer leather sling and shoulder bags ( preferably light brown or burgandy red)
- Pumps
- Ballerina flats
- Heels
- Slippers from num(black, red and brown)
- Finish reading twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. ( but shuhui's has to lend me the very 1st book 1st..hahas)
- Get tanned
- Do loads of exercise + lose weight + tone the muscles
- Long necklace (with vintage ornaments)
- Chunky Necklace ( with a single pendant)

So much I want to own.
Since I pay for my own purchase, I need to work doubly hard this holiday.

But dear people, feel free to date me out!
A week or 2 week advance booking is advise.
So that I can free that day exclusive for you! =)

numb

I seldom post about my last relationship.
Is it because the pain is unbearable or I just want to safekeep it as memories?

I was thinking to myself.
Why am I the way I am now.

I realised that I had undergo too much pain and disappointment.
People whom I trusted had misused them or doubted me.

I did my best in whatever I do.
But it had turned out differently.

Do you know the pain I undergo?
It stabbed into me many times. Too many.
The pain is worse than the one you are feeling.
It is so bad that I am numb now.
The trust that I have given you were misused many times.
I never lie to you.
I never distrust you.
I gave myself wholeheartedly to you.
I did things that I never did for others to you.
Things that my siblings were surprised that I'll do it for a guy.
The one I came out of my house at 4am.
The one I hugged in the cold while he was drunk.
The one that I ran in the rain for.
The one that I was reprimanded by my parents many times.
You are the first that I have the courage to present you to my parents.

The beginning was sweet. Very sweet.
I thought to myself: I was the luckiest girl on earth.
Everything was bliss.
Breaking up with you never ross my mind.
The thought of me leaving you aches.

Things that you did that upset me, I always never blame you.
I just think that you are just tired, or you had a bad day.
Reasons of your bad are easily found and I do appreciate your good.
I tried my best to be understanding.
I seldom throw my temper at you.
How many times you see me getting angry?
There are times you used me as an excuse to stay out late.
There are times you want me to lie and cover up for you.
For you, though I hate to lie, I did my best to let you get away with it.
I did my best to accommodate with whatever you want.
But the promises we had, many ain't fulfilled.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

I know I wasn't a great girlfriend afterall.
If I were why did we break up?
I am a demanding person.
I demand too much I guess.
Maybe I wasn't sensitive enough.
Maybe I am really a bad girlfriend.

In my eyes, I never emphasize your flaws.
I used to see it in others but I realised that everyone has it.
It is not that bad like plague.
It is just how someone views and interprets it.

After the break up and my family issues.
I am sick and tired of holding on and working out things.
Many things have left me unappreciated and misunderstood.

I need and I want to learn to be selfish.
I just want to protect myself from the hurting.
It affects onyl me and not upsetting anyone else.
I no longer able to trust guys anymore.
Unless they are the ones who are really close to me.
I can't expose myself to anyone anymore.
Iadmit that I am timid.
I can't trust anymore.
The agony, the misery, the suffering that I had undergo.
It hurts too much.
So much that i'm numb.

You may feel that you did a lot.
I did not deny your effort either.
True, I am seeing how long you can substain.
Things usually sweet at first when you want it.
But when you have it, soon it will be taken for granted.
Time will tell.
Patience and sincerity may be shown.
Put yourself in my shoes sometimes.
Spare a little thought for me.
There are too many things that had happened.
I had scarred past.
I can't possibly trust others, lack alone committing myself in a relationship.
The things you wanted, you have to earn it.
Be it love or trust.
It was given to you many times in the past.
But you have to earn them now as you lost them.

Somehow you make me feels as if you are deperately wanting things to work your way.
You don't get together with someone before you establish the trust.
You only get together with him after you trust him, after you feel that you will be safe in his hands.

You did not put yourself in my shoes.
Sparing a thought of the past and how hard it is for me to heal and trust.
It feels that you love yourself so much more.
If I were to find a guy to take care of me, I'll want him to love me more than he love himself.
Are you like that?
However, if you want things to work the way you want it. I am sorry.
There is nothing much I can give you now.
I'm a defected product.
I haven't found a way to make myself to feel emotions again.
I'm numbed by pain.
I haven't found a way to trust guy again.
It hasn't been easy.
I still experience pain when I think back of the past.
Maybe I'm not worth people putting in such extensive effort in me.
But healing and waiting for a damaged person is not for the faint hearted people i guess.
Agony has devoured the good memories and left me tattered with the bad ones.
It will take a long time to recovery I guessed.
For me to heal, to trust or to commit myself in a relationship.
I don't even know if I can accept you or even any other guy again.
Maybe all your effort and time will be wasted.
If you have no patience, no sincerity and you love yourself more than anyone else; you can give up now.
Or maybe, you have given up already.

exhausted

2 Presentations are down.
Left with 1.

Been sleeping late for the past few days.
Doing project at MJ's place till 2.30am on Monday.
Do project in school till school's mac canteen have to closed yesterday.
Left school at 11.27pm, PeiLing and I are lucky enough to board our last bus.
I only managed to sleep at 5am this morning, was busy with today's presentations.

Today, we have a morning project meeting at 8am.
I was punctual. =)

I went home to catch some sleep today.
I went to amkhub to meet drin for movie.
I wanted to watch the dark night but ended up watching money not enough 2.
It has been so long since I last cried like shit watching a movie.
My heart aches.
It reminds me of my parents.
The love and care they have shower on us are always seen negligible.
The only that are closest and love us the most are the people we treated the worst.
The sacrifies they did exceed what we can imagined.
Their love is the greatest.
We will only realised their goodness when we lost them I guessed.
Myopia.

Hey drin, sorry for the chocolate I gave you.
It worsen your health and mental condition.

For those who read my blog, there are things I mentioned before and it is still that. =)

Did I take a wrong step?
Things are becoming worst?
My sacarsm and blurness never leaves people in physical or mental agony I guessed.
I thought everything was fine.
But it was just my one sided thoughts I guessed.
How can I do to minimize the effects of my actions?
But whenever I think of it, I never manage to come out with a perfect solution.

There is so much in my mind, so much to do and exams are coming up.
Thought this topic shouldn't be an issue now.

When it meant to be, it will meant to be when the time is right.

I love my dad.
He is the only man I can entrust myself to.

He is a busy businessman.
He start work at 8.30am every morning and only sleeps about 11pm.

Sunday, he spared time to drive sister and I down to the temple to do prayers for my driving.
We travelled all the way to Jurong, but they are having religion dinner.
So, we travelled to Bukit Batok to find aunt, my dad's elder sister.
I told daddy I wanted to eat fried chicken wings, he brought me and sister to eat it.
We had chicken wings, jumbo fish balls and cheng teng.
He brought us blueberry cheese tart for breakfast too. =)

On Monday, I had driving till 8pm. I called dad at 9pm, he is still at the temple getting me an amulet. The temple isn't just that you can just walk in and walk out within 10minutes.

I'm seriously touched by his effort.
My dad.
I thought I wasn't important to him.
But he doesn't show his love for us that easily.
I love him. I love my mum too.
She always make an effort I am fine and healthy.
She always make sure she know what is in my life and how have they been.

The ones that never betray your trust.

l o v e ?

Twilight male character, Eward is so sweet.
My clique girls are slowly falling in love with him.
Love can be so amazing.
How can a guy be that sweet?
There are always male leads from movies, dramas and books who are so sweet, romantic and loving.
But how come I didn't meet any? Lol.

How do you fall in love with someone?
For the huge one time thing that someone did to you?
Or the accumulation of small little thoughts and actions that he did?
For me, it is the latter.
It is the effort that counts.
The continuation of determination and sincerity.

Remember those little things he or she likes.
Doing little thoughtful actions for the one who matters.
Is it tiring ?
But since she or he is the one you like, doesn't it makes doing such things come naturally?
Unknowingly, you will take notice of his or her preference.
Naturally you want to do every single thing to make he or she happy.
Because you love him or her.
So doing all these is never a chore.
But when feelings isn't that strong or fades.
Or just that you overlooked that one used to matter that much, taking him or her for granted.
Noticing the details and doing little things for that smile become a pain in the ass.

Bringing a jacket out with her, just to ensure she is warm become redundant.
Sending a good morning message or a good night message become unnecessary.
Used to think that letting the one you love know that he or she is the first your mind when you woke up and the last one you miss when you sleep is sweet.
But now it become too mushy?

It is one to interpret but never anyone to judge.
Yea, I know. One man's meat is another poison.
I agreed on this one.

Easily contented.
Mutual understanding.
Trust.
Faith.
Honesty.
Willingness
Commitment.
Communication.
All these are the keys to maintain a relationship.
Falling in love is easy .
But how both party are willing to work hard for the relationship to work is the hardest part.

I know a couple get together in such a short while and have trust and faith to be tied together for the rest of their lives sound so magical to me.
I wish them with all the happiness and bliss they can get with each other love.

Not that I don't believe in love.
It is one of the most beautiful human relations that one should experience.
But at this moment, i have no trust and faith in it.
I love a little too genuine.
I understand it a little too much.
I go through a little too deep.
It hurts me a little too painful.
I trusted too much to discover lies.
Thus, now I need a break before I lose my faith in love.
It may take awhile but I believe it take years.
For me to believe the creation call love.

Somehow, somewhat.
Such effort of mine shouldn't be done.
Why am I feeling a little more than I should.
I know the facts.
Been there, done that.
Sometimes a little more is good.
But the feeling without it annoys me.
I know exactly how and what should be done.
Can I believe and trust?
Expectations, anticipation and promises are never real in my life.
I heard what was said.
But it can be so contradicted with actions.
Never to judge, time will tell.
Just listen to it and see how it goes.
It could be just my imaginations of the past.
No sway. No persuasion.
Block it, leave it and I'll be fine.

swirl

Today we had a ritz gang's dinner at the industrial area.
Good food with tom yam soup, vegetables, fried sotong, fried fish in thai style, chicken and chilli prawns. Just have to pay $10 for the sumptous meal.
Today's company include: Leonard, Leon, Wei Quan, Square, Simon, Lynette, Andrew, Jie Wen, VK, Wee Kiat, Pong, Chew Hung, Lian Yin and I.
After dinner 13 of us proceed to Northpoint to chill while Wei Quan went off to meet his friends.
Good chilling company!
I will definitely miss those that went off to army.
Sometimes I'm a litlle not used to not having them calling me auntie.
Hahas..Many of them not working already. =(

Grrr. Someone flied my plane. Not once but a few times.
So maybe I won't have a movie date for long.
Anyone else want to date me out for a movie?

Somehow I started to dislike promises.
There are so many that I heard before and made to me.
How many are fulfilled?
I don't like it when people cannot practise what they preach?
It happened so often.
From young till now.
People who stay in my life or those who have move on, many had made empty promises.

I don't know why I said that.
Or all those I said.
I know that it will somehow upset you.
I don't know what I can do to have you experience the minimal pain.
I felt bad.

Grr. Feel so helpless in these situations I'm in.
Seeing people suffering in pain, people I love but there is nothing I can do.
I always thought I am in control, but I'm not.
Thought that doing things the selfish ways to make myself feel better, but it doesn't.
I am still worried about others.
Am I a bad figure having people going through what they go through?
Did I play a part too?
Am I mean to have my own stand, believe and things I want to achieve where it may not be any thing beneficial to others?