Tiring week

Well, it has been a tiring week for me. This whole week, there are many make up lessons and I ended up having lesson 4 days at 9am and 1 day lesson at 10am.
My god. So not used to it.
I don't know know those 3rd year students can make it through.

I watched Made of Honour yesterday. Thanks for the strawberry pocky. It is damn ex la but very nice. =X

Great company, great movie. I has been awhile since I have teared watching a movie.
Yea, I teared a little. Not those noisily crying. I don't do that.

There are international cross cultural studies presentation and financial management accounting test tml.
And 3 more tests next week:
1) Internet application for hospitality industry
2) Essential retail studies
3) Hosplitality, resort and leisure industry.
My god.
After holiday, there are more presentations, projects and tests..grrr.

Well, at least I'll be able to enjoy the 2 week holiday and my birthday.

Life is getting interesting.=)

Mon and tues were boring. Lesson started at 9am on both days and worst, today, it ended at 6pm.
I had good food these 2days. Monday I had baked rice at pizza with the girls and chill at coffee bean after that. Tues, though my breakfast was egg muffin meal bt my dinner was good!
I met Ned and Serene to have the polos changed. Serene and I headed for dinner. We ordered Kimchi ramen and have a side of spicy pork to go with. Awww..the cold and rainy weather made the dinner taste so much better.
Good food and good company.
Her company is always good. =)
We chatted all the way since we met and even bought durian pan cake to eat..nice. =)
Hahas..she says she will chiong work with me.
There is me there is her there isn't me, there isn't her.
Hahas..

I want to go US Disneyland, Orlando for attachment!
It will be my yr3 april to set off.
6months attachment with Disneyland staying over their apartment.
The pay will be $7 per hour with about minimum 30-40hours a week.
8hours of school a day each week at a university there, studying 4 relevant modules plus ungergo exams.
Ahh..the only turn off is to pay abt $13k to go and maybe we will earn back abt $8k or $9k in Disneyland.
I'll strive hard and go with the clique.
We are on don't we?=)
Save up so that we can go to the beaches there, go there and splurge a little on shopping! =)

I'll be watching movie tomorrow. Finally, I get to enjoy. =)

hahas..26th May,At least I can say that I did that once in my life. I'm still young, it worth the shot doesn't it?

I AM ME!

I have been reading. Reading alot here and there.

I realised I am not the only one who had tried, sacrified, worried and tried compromising so much. Knowing that break up will be a good solution but the pain of the heart breaking hurt so badly that you can't even breathe. There are many people out there especially my female friends around me are suffering this.
I don't know why, but when someone compromises, it has been taken for granted and when that person no longer able to give in more, does that makes the person a bad girlfriend? When one keeps giving, the other kept enjoying that the other party no longer give.Seriously, no expectation leads to no disappointment. But with expectation there is where we can find happiness in them. But what is the point, it needs two hand to clap.
Fuck.
This is my side of story, you can find out the other side.
But it doesn't matter to me anymore.

I know it has been a few weeks but its shadow have been tailing me.
At work, it is great working with friends I know.
BUT PLEASE! I AM KIM! NOT SOMEONE ELSE GIRLFRIEND!
WE ARE OVER.
WE ARE JUST FRIEND!
I am capable of who I am, I don't need such connection to prove my capablility.
I am glad to have my new found friends.
Thanks for lending me a listening ear and please help me to spread the message that I am sick and tired of explaining where is his whereabouts.

I know I shouldn't be complaining these but I think I have been putting a front long enough.
Act as if it doesn't matter. I know I am strong, but please I need time.

I hope this is the last time I'm mentioning my relationship.
Because, the next one will be long long time later.

Believe me, I'll come back strong. I will be who I am.

*I know you cares for me, been there for me. But don't always tell me what I should do or what I shouldn't do. Telling me what is right or wrong is not just judge by you..there is thinking in me to know what I want to do. It is not me who don't want to spend happy time but maybe because I don't have such a good crowd of friends always there no matter when.*

Friday.

In the afternoon, met Serene for lunch before work.
It never been a moment of boredom with her..hahas..
Work started at 2pm on Friday and I ended work at 12am.
I was working under Fabian today, 5 staffs to 4 tables that had only 23guests..lucky day for us.=D
Working with Fabian was good. Hahas..we can gossips and no stress working with him.

When work ended, the east people asked me to go to Tampines to eat supper with them..hahas..it has been long since I go there and it was so far la..
Hahas..They asked me why did I stay so far? But where is the starting point to began with?Hahas..Next time eh..next time I'll have supper with them..=)

I had supper. Not as if we both are hungry, but just wanna to chill out and talk. We walked from Ritz to Paragon. Chilling at coffee bean, drinking latte.

the day.

Things didn't went well today at driving. Another attempt is needed.
I don't know what the hell went wrong neither why do I have that kind of mix feelings in me.

I went to meet the rest today, it fun mixing with them though I am the newest in the clique.
Alittle left out at the gathering today but it's fine..I'm there as a friend, not as a friend's girlfriend. The feeling of recognition is good.
The meal was super filling. I didn't manage to finish the rice..hahas..it is usual now that I only eat a bit more than half for 1 or 2 meals a day.
Oh ya, thanks for the ride home, do take care eh.=)

Today, is like the first time I don't feel awkward alone. Alone sitting at the Coffee Bean, surfing the net, doing project and listening to songs.
I think I'm fine dating myself..It is good that way. =)

D, thanks for the food stuffs. You are nearly the 2nd person who travelled from the east to nyp to pass me sweet stuffs and go home..hahas..lucky you are there to do some conditioning in school. If not I'll be real guilty.
Thanks..=)

the 21st.

Hahas..school was a long day. Lesson was supposed to be 8am to 6pm. Hahas..lucky ICCA lesson cancelled so I end up at chatting and gossipping with the girls. Hahas..

Hahas..tml is a big big day for me! Hahas..My TP date is tml!
hahas..people, please give me your blessings!

Holiday.

Hahas..somehow I don't enjoy holiday.
Maybe I just don't need one yet. Something invaded my mind today.Though I know it has always been somewhere there but I just don't understand why does it has to appear again.
I can't concentrate on whatever I'm doing today.

Lina drove me down to Island Creamery to have some ice cream.
Yeah, ice cream has always been my favourite and makes me feel better.
I had bundung and soursop while she had Teh Tarik and Latte and we shared an apple pie.

We were supposed to go reservoir to blow bubbles and take pictures after that.
So that our mood will be better.
But, there is always a but. My parents need me to be home to help them out. Arrgh.
It is not that I don't like helping them out, but it's just that I have projects n tutorials to do. I can't concentrate on them and there is like many things are piling up.
I need to get those thoughts OUTTA MY HEAD.

My appetite isn't back yet. I can't complete a meal nowadays. Argh!

Is there anyway to feel better mentally?!
*Simon, if you are reading, please come out with ideas that makes me feel better and not what that has been in your mind all these while eh?!*

Back working

I was back working yesterday.
I had lunch with sister before meeting Serene at City Hall.
Meeting Serene was great. Though we chatted till about 4am but we still have so much more to say when we meet up, during work and after work. =)

Yesterday was a wedding, and almost have of the cabinet was there. There is the Persident, Mr Goh, Mr Lee and many other ministers.

Back at work, things doesn't seemed to change. People still teased me as usual.
Some were surprised to see me working today and many had asked me where have I been all these while. Hahas.
Quite a few people were asking me about Him, asking me where was he. But when I told them that we broke up, no one believed. Many people thought I was joking and loads of persuasion was needed to let them understand that it was the truth. Hahas..This held me wonder, doesn't my relationship with him seemed so strong in the past that no one thought we will break up?Hahas..

Back at work was great, I saw many familiar faces. There is Cherlyn, Ivy, Kian Pong, David, Simon, Leonard, Leon, Fabian, Yu Tong, Sherelyn, Tian You, Xiao Zhou, Aaron and of course Su An, Shaik and Luke. Many people that I can talk to, I can laugh with and I have been quite happy the whole event. The best part was, Serene is just next to my group. =)

The whole day, I was enjoying myself.
I end up reaching home at 2am though my shift ends at 12am.
I was dead tired when I reached home.
Working makes me happy, just need to push back some memories that were meant to be kept.
*David, maybe maybe you are right. But is already at the point that I don't know is that the real me. Thanks for your concern* =)

New Soul

Well, I think many people has been wondering what has been happening in my life. Hmmm..thank you for those friends that has been there for me when my heart was shattered. Many of you seem to be missing in my life but when you all realised my situation, many of you came forward to care and concern me. I'm grateful. Friends are there when you need them most eh?My love life is over. A trade of letting one to go, in return, I have gain back so many friends that I have lost along the way falling in love. =)
I LOVE MY FRIENDS! =D
When we are together, I did my best to care, to understand, to communicate and to love. I tried my best. Well, though him and I is over. We are still friends. We said before we will still be friends when we break up right? But I still wish him best with the new life he is leading. Study hard for your course because it is your passion, do take care of your health as your immunity system isn't that good..hahas..
I must thank Aldrin too, he helps me to lose weight that I couldn't wear my belt anymore..hahas..Shall end my speech for him here. =)

I met my all time BESTIE RACHEL yesterday, I miss her la..It has been long since I last talk to her. Well, I had another great day meeting my DARLING LINA today. =) It has been so long since I last met her though we stay so near. I met her dance partner and friend today. =)
Na, let me know what you want to tell me when you remembers eh? Loves.
I watched What Happened In Vegas with Des today. It is a pretty good movie. It makes me thing that love is something so complicated. Hahas..how someone can fell in love or do their best to work out the relationship if both of you are willing to work things out. Hahas..as there is a saying: "when there is a will, there is a way" ,or another one, "with preserverance, a metal rod can be grind into a needle".

I have great company today. =) I'll be better in time and I took a great step today, Right Des?

Meeting up old friends.

Wow, I have been seeing alot and contacting alot of my old friends.
It feels good hearing from them. =)

Today, I saw Johnson online!Hahas..he always so busy with hockey, floorball, working and schooling. He was waiting to go training today so I met up with him before it. It is so nice that I can talk to him again. It makes me feel like I go back to my life in secondary school.
Ahh..I miss all my friends.

I been bumping into so many Secondary school friends. First, I saw Wing Chung( the chicken) walking to NYP then Pavitra(top scorer) in National Museum working as a security guard there. Then I bumped into Fabian, JieWen, WeiQuan at Cathay and PS. By the way, I saw them in a day. Hahas. Then the day I was with Gene, Limin(netball mates in secondary school) saw me on the train. Then today, I saw Lydia( secondary school senior that gave me homemade cookies during Valentine day) in school mac, I saw Yee Shian(secondary classmates) outside the printing shop at SBM block, I met up with Johnson(my all time good friend in secondary school) and John and I saw Felicia(my secondary 1 classmate) on the train!

Wow..the world is really small eh..I hope my friends will keep surrounds me..=)

night chatting

Yesterday, I saw so many friends!
Secondary school friends, friends in nyp.
Wow. A happy day.

I chatted with alot of people yesterday. Gene, Des, Sylvia, Minjia, Shuhui, Ayu, Limin, Lesner and Fabian.
My god, I miss Limin alot. She saw me on the train yesterday when she was about to alight..agrrr! If not, i'll have a hug from her! Hahas..but I'll be seeing her soon, if she able to work at Zouk, maybe I'm getting free drinks from her?hahas..

Chatting with Lesner was funny but horrible. =X Just the fact he love to tease and make fun of me..Agrr. But it was nice chatting with people that you haven't been chatting for long.

Lastly.My god. I chatted with Fabian. I don't know that we can chat so much la. Hahas..we were like gossipping talking about each other lives, how is our relationships and Ritz working environment in the past and now. I thought I had met the sweetest guy, but he was way much sweeter and romantic. Seriously his effort of cherishing his girlfriend and his girlfriend cherishing him is so god damn sweet! He is a damn nice person to chat to when you are happy or sad. We chatted till like 2 am? hahas..But he is working at 6am. =.= Something that I never understand is how Ritz banquet male staffs are able to sleep so little yet work so long hours..

Though I was so tired when I shut down my laptop, but at least I had a "fulfilling" day with my friends. =)

I'm free, so date me out ! =)

My day.

Hahas, went to National Museum yesterday with the girls for National Education project. We had great fun exploring the past of Singapore and took loads of pictures!
Hahas..It is always fun and enjoyable with them. =D

Well, only one bad thing. My slippers snapped and broke. So it was time to get a new one. =(

Today, I had a last minute outing with Gene. Hahas..we were supposed to meet the other time for Botak Jones but he was sick.
This time we just decided about it when we were chatting like 4pm and decided to meet for dinner. Hahas..So, we had this last minute decision of going to esplanade. So we went.

Hahas, meals today were horrible. My lunch, I only managed to eat 6 mouths because the cup noodles I bought was filled with room temperature water. =(
Then, the kueh lapis I bought was horrible la, only can eat 3 mouths. =(
Lastly, dinner at MS Yoshinoya was horrible too. Finally I am able to eat rice without wanting to puke. =) The beef wasn't as nice as before and their miso soup was horrible! Seriously, this is the first time I can't finished the value meal.

We went to Esplanade and had a talk under the sky. It was great talking about the past, the present and sharpening my scarcasm.
Thanks for the company, it cheers me up.

For Des, please take care of your body, don't exhaust it any further . Hopefully you can get ride of your sore throat soon.=)

Ps: For those who understand, I know somehow I still mentioned things that I shouldn't but I'll be doing better and getting stronger..=)
Thanks for your great company. I love all those who cares. Loves..=)

Once again.

Today is sunday. 2nd Sunday of May.
Happy Mothers' Day to every mother in the world.=)
I love you Mum, you have been the best for loving and taking good care of me.=)

I made alot of discovery recently.
Good and bad. Both.

I'll just let things be and see how it turns out?=)

Thanks Lina, I love you.=)

07 May 08

School was alright. Had two tutorials: Marketing Hospitality and Retail Studies.

The talk of oversea students exchange seems great. All of them travelled so much. Almost everyone went around Europe to do some travelling before they head back to Singapore. I wish I could be like them too but studying in a University won't be easy I feel.

My body isn't feeling well today.
But I had great company after school.
Though everything was simple but the feeling is warm.
Your company were enjoyable. Thanks. =)

Things inside me.

I had a long day today. Lesson starts from 10.10am to 6pm.
French is getting harder, retail studies lecture as usual and international cross culture felt like a drag. International cross culture feels like a drag, it may be partly due to the fact it is the last 3 lesson of the day or due to what was in my head.
Running after school with Syl and Sandy was good. It makes me divert my attention to focus on the run.

I had difficulties concentrating. My mind wonders, though I know I shouldn't be doing it, but I can't help myself. I felt insecure, fear, uncertainty and crave reassuarance.

I know I shouldn't be thinking so much. But it don't feels like before to me. Sometimes the way we communicate sound like friends..maybe that is where we are now. It takes time I guess.

Do let me know that you are busy, it keeps me hanging, thinking why I couldn't contact you. It worries me, not knowing what happened to you. Called the phone, tried messaging, tried msn and even had to ask your sister where are you. Maybe it is just true that I am paroniod.

I should leave things the way it is and see how it goes eh..

Realize

It has never been threes.
It has always been just the one.
It has been strong.
It has never faded.

It has been hard not on just one, but both.
It has been cleared and things are back to basic.

03 May 2008

03, 04 and 05 May 2008.
It was a chance that was given to me.
It was a decision I want to follow my head or heart.
My decision definitely makes things crystal clear to me.

I enjoyed myself these two days. =)

Life is short, cherish those around you.
Making others happy is good, but most importantly we are happy with ourselves and we does not compromise our own feelings.

Driving assessment.

Thanks Shu Hui! Hahas..Thanks for accompanying till my driving lesson about to start.=)

I did my driving today. Everything was fine at first till the assessment started. For the very first time, since I started learning driving, I mounted the curb 3 times for directional change. My god. My mood just changed. Every little things makes me uptight. Haiz.

I only had 12 demerit points, I could pass my assessment but because of the curbs, I didn't make it. Argh.

I'll do it better the next attempt. I must.

Thursday.

I kept thinking that today is Friday. Thinking that my pay is in and I can do alot of shopping.
In the morning, I had lunch with sister and her friend at Sushi Teh. It's a treat.
But I didn't manage to eat alot. Just one or 2 items each of the few a la carte. After that, we went to play pool and my sister's friend give me a ride to meet Syl and Sandy in Bugis.

We were all shopping around. From Bugis Junction to Bugis Street and back to Bugis Junction again. Their company was great. Though I didn't manage to buy my footwear and a red sling bag. But I bought a few other items with good discount too too.
Dinner: mango juice and 1 mochi.

Images came across my mind.