can you spare a thought for me?

Why am I the one always worry for things and try my best to make sure things will work at the end of the day?

I am tired,exhausted and stressed.
I slept at 3am on friday morining and attended reached school at 10.30am for project.
I went to work and slept at 5.30am on saturday.
I woke up at 12plus to go to work and slept at 7.30am on sunday morning.
I slept at 4am this morning and reached school at 9.30am.

Why must school work and family matters always come together?
I really have alot of things on my hand to do.
I needed to get them done but no one fucking understand me!!

I am tired of going through this all over again and again and again and again.

I am fucking sick and tired!!!

Yes, you did your part as a brother, you help me when I need you most.
Didn't I help you out, when you ask me too?
If I can, I did it for you.
Fuck.
I was preparing for test, tutorials and presentation when you ask me to help out the business.
I did my part.
But I am fucking tired and I had a ica presentation tml.

Many times.
Many times I slept late doing dad's accounts, helping out at home ended doing my school work late.
Many times you want me to help you out with the delivery and ended up alighting me somewhere quite a distance from the place you promised to alight me. I didn't complain.
Does it means being nice should always fucking be taken advantage off?!
Yet, you always expect good grades from me.
Telling me relationship will affect studies, but your way of making me part of your business isn't making it worse?

I needed money, can you help me?
You won't, telling me how much you had spend on the house yet I work you complaint that I work outside.
What the fuck you want from me?
Why can't you fucking understand me?
You always claim that you help me, but I did my part as your sister, I did something too.
Or many things.
Or to you, helping me out needed a favour to return and whatever I do, the favour can never be return.

Can't I be fucking selfish once awhile.
Sparing thoughts for people are so tiring.
I do it for others.
Who are there to spare a thought for me?

Many times, I wished that I do not exist that i will just vanished into thin air.